Reputable Dealing Desks Forex Brokers. Dealing desks brokers try to group the trades together not sending tiny individual trades to the market the way the ECN brokers do. The accusation that Dealing Desk brokers manipulate the price is simply untrue at least as far ad the US market is concerned.
Hey, I’m a 17 yr old bagger going to college in a month. Besides the point i have been working at Kroger for around 5 months, during those 5 months I’ve been known as the one “who doesn’t care about his job”, “The Lazy Worker”, “Always on his Phone”. “Zoned out”, “Earphones always in” And it’s really annoying. I’m one of the more efficient baggers, one of the fastest at putting carts in, I actually clean the carts, etc. I’m one the best at my job. But because when I’m doing a task and look at my phone, or sit down, or take out a earphone, the front desk always are there when I’m doing those things, and it’s only for a minute when I do those things. They never see how much work I put in this st, They even fired me one time then begged me to come back after they noticed how chaotic it was w/o me. All of my Co-Workers except for like 3 are all lazy as st, they skip task, hide in the break room, making me do the work. I get dirty looks from the front desk workers, I’m treated like a kid 24/7 by almost everyone expect for the Elder Cashiers.(All of them are really nice to me) Like just yesterday, we usually at max in the inside of Kroger with carts there is 3.5 rows. When I arrived at work it was 1.5, five hours later it was still 1.5 and front desk expected me to clear the lot in a hour. I’m quitting so soon. I can’t take it. TL;DR: I get treated like shit here Edit: Jesus Christ I’m even getting downvoted for saying I’m doing Forex. I love Reddit
Hi all. I am in a very difficult psychologically situation. I have studied for 7 years to be a day trader. Stare at the charts all day, actively manage, bla bla bla. So here is my struggle. Off the bat, my goal is to one day be a full time forex trader with no other source of income Recently I started reading off levels. I go in for 10m per day (while on the crapper in the morning) set up 20-30 alerts on my phone, and then just enter blindly for 1.5 rr during the day. I get about 60% strike rate, more than enough to be popping champagne and living the life. I get about 3-4 setups per day. That is option 1. Option 1 downside is eventually I get a short like gbpusd this Monday, where I got in for 4 pip stop and could have trailed it for 15RR! Option 2 is active trading. Sitting at the desk, charting out, following news events, the works. Taking positions, trailing stops to lock profits, the stress that goes with it. I should be happy with option 1 but it keeps feeling wrong. As if I am cheating. It cannot be this easy, can it? Furthermore, if I go full time to only trade 10 mins per say and make 2-3 R almost every day, what will I do the rest of the time? I am one of those guys raised with the "you have to work hard around the clock" mentality, and I know that does not apply to Forex and trading at all. Nevertheless, 10m per day just feels and sounds weird, and I can't shake the feeling I will get a slap in the face for it. But I backtested. I forward tested. I have been trading it in a micro account for 2 months and it checks out. Reddit, what is your opinion. Option 1 laid back, or go back to the grinder and do option 2 Edit : correcting typo View Poll
I used to work at one of the largest retail FX (forex) dealing desks, basically a bucket shop operation, AMA
So, I've seen a lot of people recommending failed investors/traders to start trading forex instead of stocks/futures/bonds. Having worked at one of the largest dealers, I can tell you that this is a huge mistake. 25% of the time I was trading the firm's money, while 75% of the time I was tasked with figuring out which clients we could bet against and which clients we should target to attempt to reverse engineer their strategies. AMA
https://preview.redd.it/85umf06901q51.jpg?width=980&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a78ca027ec0463516d94fd2f5549d9cc818124c4 As with any brokers, we've an ecn forex broker list that has all the great ones. The thing is that, when people are checking out the simplest ECN STP brokers, they're trying to find the No Dealing Desk brokers. They do not know the difference between STP and ECN. So, don't get the 2 confused. To recap this and make it clear, allow us to summarize how the ECN brokers work: ● They do not make profits from spreads ● They make profits from commissions ● They do make money if you lose These are the three basic items that make ECN brokers so attractive to several traders. to form this even more precise, allow us to check out STPs and ECN brokers individually to find out what makes them so different. Explaining The Differences of ECNs and STPs STPs have many similarities with ecn forex broker, but the difference between the 2 is routing. The STP can pick to affect different liquidity providers that are outside of their liquidity pool. The ECN is more of a hub. The hub here plays the role of a big and sole liquidity source. it's represented by hedge funds, banks and every one major player within the market. The network interconnects them to permit everyone to seek out the order they will handle internally. The other difference we all know is that with Forex brokers, you're capped at a 0.1 minimum lot size. The rationale for this is often because few liquidity providers leave but 0.1 lots. This requirement might indeed be difficult for inexperienced traders who might have to trade with lower amounts of cash . However, a hybrid method exists which will allow you to trade albeit you've got little money. that's not why we are here, though. Eliminating Untrue ECN Brokers When you look for the ECN brokers on the web , you'll find tons of them aren't truly ECN. they might be hybrid or maybe STP. The thing is that you simply got to have how to understand needless to say . That's the rationale why we made an ECN brokers list. Instead of changing it on the web and finding yourself holding the short end of a stick, check out the list. The real ECN brokers don't make profits from the spread difference but charge just a clean and transparent commission. they create sure that their work is for you to win. The more you earn, the more the commission they create .
College sophomore looking for a job to help my parents pay rent (In NYC)
So I want to make this short. Due to the pandemic, my parents don't have a job and have been living off of unemployment checks. My mom came to me the other day and told me how my dad's been behind rent by 2 months and are having trouble getting money for food, paying for the car and etc. I don't want to beg for money but I need it so I'm willing to work. I've tried looking for retail jobs or work in a restaurant but couldn't find any. My classes are starting up soon so even if I could my dad won't let me and telling me to put my education first. I know he's trying to do his best but he needs help. I've worked for NYCDOE as a computer technician for 4 years and have experience in coding and help desk support. I am great with technology and can pick things up fast. If anyone can lead me towards jobs in that field or help give some advice on what to do in my current situation I would really appreciate it. And please don't ask me to join your pyramid schemes or forex related stuff. Thank you for reading and for any help you can provide.
Recover Stolen Crypto - How to Recover Scammed Bitcoin
“Let me start by sharing my first loss was with bitcoin and cryptocurrency in general. It happened when the exchange closed with our funds. I didn’t even try to contact anyone or alert any authority.” The good news however is that people who have lost bitcoin, other crypto and any other kind of assets can now recover all they have lost bitcoin and crypto. All you have to do is send an email to [email protected] to recover all lost or stolen bitcoin and crypto. These are the words of an intrepid crypto investor – one of many who responded to a tweet asking about the lack of recourse people face when their assets are stolen in a hack, exit scam or Ponzi scheme. There’s as much as $10 billion in stolen crypto out there in the market, according to Pawel Kuskowski, CEO of blockchain sleuthing firm Coinfirm. And he wants to give victims a fighting chance at getting their funds back. Exclusively revealed to Reddit, Coinfirm has teamed up with global investigations firm Kroll, a division of consulting firm Doff & Phelp. The joint initiative being launched is called ReclaimCrypto, and combines the latest blockchain forensic techniques with the more established world of legal investigation and asset recovery. Kuskowski told Reddit:
“So far, there is no one place where victims can go and get help. It’s almost like they are pleading to get someone interested in their case. In the end, they have to work it out themselves; see about getting a lawyer, perhaps in some other jurisdiction.”
Figures on what is recoverable vary. For instance, CipherTrace, another analytics firm recently said some $4 billion in crypto has been lost this year. Kuskowski’s estimate includes historic (and as yet unresolved) events like Mt Gox, which in today’s money would account for about $1 billion. Needless to say, Kuskowski and his team are not doing this only for the good of mankind – there are success fees levied on a case-by-case basis, he told CoinDesk, adding: “Doing the market analysis for this product, we started by calculating the kind of top cases, where we know we could be successful and recover funds, which was about 200 cases.” Those cases alone account for roughly $1.5 billion, Kuskowski added. FundsRecovery247.com will Help Recover Your Lost or Stolen Crypto Coinfirm’s bread and butter is anti-money laundering (AML) within crypto networks, done by analyzing the history of transactions using various smarts and big-data analytics. Similar to the likes of Chainalysis and Elliptic, it works with 50 or so exchanges and has built up a large database in this area. Coinfirm’s partner, Kroll, takes a more “traditional” approach, which might involve producing court orders to get an internet service provider to reveal details about an IP address, or using former FBI and CIA operatives to scour the dark web for activity involving stolen funds. It should be pointed out that Kroll is not new to crypto: The firm worked with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) last year in relation to fraudulent coin offerings. Kroll also tells CoinDesk it helped track down the perpetrators in Europe of $27.8 million bitcoin theft. If loss victims so choose, Kroll can potentially line up third-party litigation funding. This means firms that provide specialized finance to the legal market, such as Burford Capital or Therium, will shoulder the cost of people’s litigation. For this, they take about 30 percent of the recovered funds and return the rest to the victims. Benedict Hamilton, a managing director at Kroll, told CoinDesk:
“From a victim’s point of view, where the police have failed to recover that money, they are not having to spend anything to get something. And no one recovers funds on their behalf without their permission. It makes the whole economics of recovering stolen funds very different – which is very exciting.”
Referring to Coinfirm as “a torch shining on the blockchain,” Hamilton said this can be extended by Kroll into the murky depths of the dark web. Kroll Cyber runs a specialist darkweb unit out of Pittsburgh, Pa., which is overseen by Keith Wojcieszek, the former head of the criminal investigations unit of the U.S. Secret Service’s cyber division. This operation crunches petabytes of dark web data from peer-to-peer sites, said Hamilton, adding: “With the ReclaimCrypto initiative in mind we have have been able to repurpose it so we can go into that database with a wallet string and look for any identifiers that are associated with that wallet name – perhaps a conversation over the selling of stolen credit cards or someone offering criminal services and providing that wallet as an address.” Follow the moneyHamilton explained that there are two paths that can be followed when it comes to a crypto investigation: figure out who did it or follow the money. ReclaimCrypto’s objective here is asset recovery, first and foremost, since that’s what the client is paying for. But ultimately both paths lead to the same place, said Hamilton, adding:
“It is inconceivable that the investigative process would finish without us giving all the details to relevant law enforcement for them then to get the benefit of the work and lock the thieves up.”
The majority of ReclaimCrypto’s focus will be on bitcoin and ether, but will also cover XRP, BCH, LTC, NEO and DASH. As for those who’ve had coins pilfered, some remain philosophical about it. “That’s life,” said the aforementioned investor, adding:
“It made me grow a lot and it’s part of my adventure in crypto.”
5 Ways to Recover Your Stolen or Lost Crypto Cryptocurrency is generally considered to be secure, but sometimes things do happen. Even top traders have had cryptoassets lost or stolen and, until quite recently, it seemed like there was very little one could actually do about it. Thankfully, there are ways to get your cryptocurrency back. We’ll be looking at the best ways to recover your lost or stolen crypto, and how to avoid going through something so traumatic in the first place! Act as quickly as possible Benjamin Sauter, a partner at Kobre & Kim, a law and an expert in crypto theft cases, told Decrypt, “The quicker you can act, the better,”. The longer you wait to start tracing your crypto, the more time you give thieves to transfer your assets to cold storage, send them to sketchy exchanges, or to tumblers to mix them up. “The more sophisticated you are, and the less sophisticated the thieves are at laundering the assets, the better chance you have,” Sauter continued. Legality For the legal system to actually work in your favour, you’ll likely need to know who stole your cryptocurrency. While you may be able to freeze funds against a John Doe, it’ll be challenging. According to Marc Jones, a partner at Stewarts Law in the UK, “In general, to enforce an order requiring fraudsters to pay damages or handover stolen property, ultimately you’ll need to know who they are.” Thankfully, one of the many benefits of cryptocurrency is that you can see where the coins have gone. If they go through an exchange, you’ll most likely be able to find out who the wallet holder is thanks to the KYC process. From there, you can get a court order to reveal the thief’s identity and recover your stolen crypto. Recovering lost crypto from a cold wallet Cold wallets are offline wallets that are designed for storing cryptocurrencies. With cold storage, the digital wallet is stored on a platform without internet connectivity. This protects the wallet from cyber hacks, unauthorized access, and other vulnerabilities that could be exploited if they were connected to the internet. There are a number of different ways that you can recover from cold wallets:
Encrypted Devices: Encrypted phones and laptops work like cold wallets, so that you can safely store and access your private key information. Like cold wallets, you can retrieve lost information through professional help.
Paper Wallets: If you have a paper wallet, consider storing it in a vault or safety deposit box. That way, you’ll literally have a physical backup of your key information.
Pen Drives/Hard Drives: While this is a very secure way to store your coins, retrieving your data from them should they be damaged or corrupted is a timely and expensive process.
Recover Your Stolen or Lost Bitcoin Crypto with FundsRecovery247 Coinfirm is teaming up with global investigations firm Kroll, to launch a joint initiative called CryptoRecovery. CryptoRecovery combines the latest blockchain forensic techniques with the world of legal investigation and asset recovery. Pawel Kuskowski, CEO of Coinfirm told Coindesk: “So far, there is no one place where victims can go and get help. It’s almost like they are pleading to get someone interested in their case. In the end, they have to work it out themselves; see about getting a lawyer, perhaps in some other jurisdictions.” CryptoRecovery aims to help in the recovery of stolen cryptocurrency. You can submit an initial form with the data about your stolen coins, and CryptoRecovery will do an assessment. You’ll only be charged a success fee on the crypto they recover for you, not for the initial assessment! Have you lost bitcoin, crypto or any other digital asset and need to get it back? Send an email to - [email protected]
Fueling The Us Economy's Middle Market Growth Engine
It has a major presence in New York and different world monetary facilities both out and in of Europe. And if you are the owner of a privately held firm and this data has peaked your interest or even led you to have more questions, then attending a Generational Equity M&A seminar can be a sensible next step. A few hours of your time will provide you with substantial ideas to pursue in order so that you can take advantage of our present seller’s market.
Job Openings Related To Middle Market Investment Bank
It is a mix of equity, mounted deposits, company bonds, liquid funds and authorities funds, among others. Based in your danger urge for food, you can determine how a lot of your cash may be invested in equities via NPS. Debt mutual fund schemes are suitable for traders who want regular returns. They are much less unstable and, therefore, thought of less risky compared to equity funds. Some of the middle-market banks resemble regional boutiques in that they concentrate on providing services to a specific trade or sector. For instance, one of the extra acknowledged center-market investment banking companies is KBW, an investment bank that focuses on working with monetary services sector companies. Some of the more well-recognized middle-market corporations are Piper Sandler Companies, Cowen Group, and Houlihan Lokey. National full-service center market corporations – Expand their companies to mix funding banking, wealth management, equity analysis, and brokerage and personal fairness companies. Banks are financial institutions offering a breadth of products and services, together with managing deposits, lending, wealth management, forex trade, and funding banking. Examples of properly-identified elite boutique funding banks are Lazard LLC, Evercore Group LLC, and Moelis & Company. The smallest of the investment banks, each when it comes to agency size and typical deal dimension, are the banks known as regional boutique banks. This lack of a succession plan, coupled with impending retirement, creates an urgency for these companies to alter arms, and bodes well for traders and corporations to amass, consolidate and develop them. Most senior debt suppliers will wrestle to supply all of the money wanted to fund an acquisition. It is comprised of corporations that are not giant enough to receive massive bank loans, yet it's too giant to receive small enterprise loans. Upstream movement from a microbusiness to being a center market entity necessitates that you just turn into a manager and learn to manage managers. Therefore, administration and hiring expertise are very important within the lower center market. put their give attention to the decrease center market section and improve proficiency in doing deals in the segment. The most amount that may be invested in the scheme Rs 15 lakh. At maturity, the investment amount is repaid to the senior citizen. In the occasion of death of senior citizen, the money will be paid to the nominee. SCSS has a five-yr tenure, which could be additional prolonged by three years as soon as the scheme matures. if you are able to leverage your skills to get an fairness stake someplace you need to be on the trail to more wealth. I'm just curious, but how does the efficient tax come out to 50%? Is it the AMTI that causes each marginal dollar to be so low or what? On December 1, 2005, Stifel Financial closed on the acquisition of the Legg Mason Capital Markets business from Citigroup Inc. The LM Capital Markets business acquired included investment banking, fairness and glued earnings analysis, equity gross sales and buying and selling, and taxable fastened income gross sales and buying and selling . These assets gave the company substantial research and capital market capabilities and reworked the corporate from a regional agency to a national one. Each of the bulge bracket banks operates internationally and has a large world, in addition to home, presence. Most bulge bracket banks also have industrial and retail banking divisions and generate extra income by cross-promoting monetary merchandise. The Public Investment Fund of Saudi Arabia is that nation's sovereign wealth fund. A hedge fund is an aggressively managed portfolio of investments that makes use of leveraged, lengthy, short and by-product positions. Credit Suisse came underneath fireplace from U.S. regulators for allowing its nicely-identified consumer confidentiality to help others avoid paying taxes. The firm has CHF 796 Billion in assets, equivalent to about $800 billion USD. The company has a serious U.S. presence, partially pushed by its merger with First Boston with a relationship going back to 1978. Eric Rosenberg lined small business and investing products for The Balance. Information Generational Group publishes on the World Wide Web may include references or cross references to other products, applications and providers that are not announced or out there in your nation. Lower middle market companies principally use mezzanine finance as a capital supply for acquisitions, although it can also be used for development capital, in addition to other monetary needs. It offers an a variety of benefits, similar to little to no dilution and a comparatively larger funding amount. One fascinating product for a non-US company is its focus in U.S. municipal finance . The bank also works in conventional investment banking services like M&A and fairness and debt market points. Most regular shoppers received’t want investment banking companies, but for rising companies and excessive-net-value individuals, an funding financial institution may supply distinctive financial services to meet your needs. An investment associate should deliver a spread of experience to the desk including a really strong observe report of execs who have successfully built center market corporations throughout a variety of industries. In an age the place capital has become a commodity, alignment round values quite than valuation alone is more and more essential to the profitable outcome of partaking non-public fairness. Investment banking compensation could not range all that much between working for one of many largest bulge bracket banks as in comparison with a smaller, elite boutique bank. While the bigger banks commonly handle bigger offers, those offers are few and much between smaller deals.
Stifel Employee Reviews
are monetary establishments or intermediaries that deal mostly with mid-market corporations, particularly for raising debt or fairness capital in addition to mergers and acquisitions.
Today, massive banks cater to their traditional clients, which incorporates particular person prospects and both massive and small corporations by providing savings and checking accounts, certificates of deposit, loans and similar companies.
Many of them also have companies that operate as funding banks, and work with corporate and institutional shoppers by offering underwriting of inventory offers, brokerage, and M&A advisory.
The definition of a business financial institution has advanced dramatically up to now a number of decades.
Middle market firms are mid-size companies having annual revenues from $10 million up to $500 million and one hundred to 2,000 staff.
Bank Of China focuses primarily on industrial banking actions similar to deposits and withdrawals, and international exchange. The bank also is even licensed to issue banknotes in Hong Kong and Macau. We specialize in delivering dependable, creative and compelling financing options to middle market corporations backed by personal equity sponsors. The firm’s credit experience also forms the inspiration of our Late Stage Lending enterprise and our Broadly Syndicated Loan funding program.
Are Investment Bankers Rich
I’m presently 21yrs old & finally transferred into a high 5 undergraduate enterprise program right here in Toronto, previously was learning biology for the mistaken causes. I tend to main in Accounting & Finance + Minors in Computer Science and Applied Statistics + Will be going by way of a rigorous coding bootcamp program. Yes, you might get extra consumer publicity and responsibilities in some teams, but you can additionally get stuck working on a lot of boring, normal sell-facet auctions and personal placements. Like other funding banks, the advisory companies of Bank of America Merrill Lynch are necessary for corporations looking to increase funds in public markets. When going public, funding bankers help decide the preliminary share value while balancing liquidity and demand. However, a excessive-return, low-risk mixture in a investment product, unfortunately, does not exist. Most buyers need to make investments in such a method that they get sky-high returns as shortly as potential with out the risk of dropping principal cash.
Middle Market Investment Bank Salaries In The United States
On the downside, there was an especially negative individual within the division who received together with no one. Pay was also mergers and acquisitions advisory very low, with only small cost of residing changes annually. While bonuses increased with longevity, you couldn't construct your salary. In a mezzanine loan, there might be collateral within the type of a pledge inventory. Step by step instruction on how the professionals on Wall Street worth an organization. certification program, designed to remodel anyone into a world-class financial analyst. In an actively traded fund, the returns are largely depending on a fund manager's capacity to generate returns. Index funds and trade-traded fund are passively managed, and these observe the underlying index. Equity schemes are categorised based on market-capitalisation or the sectors during which they make investments. The Central Bank with impact from July 1, 2020 has launched Floating Rate Savings Bond, 2020 . The biggest distinction between earlier 7.seventy five% financial savings bonds and the newly launched floating fee bond is that the interest rate on the newly launched financial savings bond is topic to reset in every six months. While they typically have locations spanning a single nation, center market banks are rarely found internationally. Full-service funding banks supply a variety of business and funding providers. Chief Executive’s publications are designed to assist CEOs do their jobs better and run their businesses more effectively. Those that begin doing so now will set up themselves fully in a market that, by design, is much more difficult to oversaturate as a result of its sheer volume.
HEALth... A back story leading me to seek some answers
I would just like to share my experience with veganism and diet in general.. Before December 2018, I was in a very unconscious state of being. In 2016 my parents divorced after 20 years, I was sexually assaulted 2 different times when I was 16 and one of those times was in a horrific accident in the same night. Long story short, I had plenty of healing to do on my plate. Leading up to December 2018 I had done acid many times and never had any crazy breakthroughs OTHER than the fact I truly saw the universal energy all around and wasn’t able to depict what it even was till years later. It was fun, opened my mind a bit and taught me some little lessons regardless. Summer 2018 right when I graduated high school I ate mushrooms for my first time by my self because I was desperate, suicidal, self destructive as fuck... Deep down I knew there was nothing left to lose. This first mushroom trip I remembered the ecstasy of what it is to be alive, I cried tears of gratitude and joy for even existing for hours. Internally I began forgiving myself and others for all of the pain... It was life altering to say the least in the best way possible. This experience was in July 2018ish, I still had so much unraveling of all my traumas to do that I wasn’t fully aware of yet... From July 2018- Dec 2018 I still lived out my self destructive ways of being; drinking till I was blacked out, not eating the best, sleeping around with whomever would give me the slightest bit of acknowledgment. Mind you, I had everything I could’ve needed materialistically my entire life.. Both my parents were still alive, I just graduated, I had food water and shelter and clothes and many other nice things that would appear on the outside like I was set and had all I needed. I ate pretty balanced my entire life, my mom cooked great and I’ve always been what I would consider healthy and vibrant even when I ate an omnivorous diet all of my life. I’ve always struggled with dairy my entire life and that was it really so it was exempt from my overall intake anyways. Come December 2018 I was in what felt like the densest, darkest hole in my entire existence. I was extremely suicidal, I thought about it every day and how I was going to be successful with it.. I was truly living out some of the most self destructive behaviors I could ever imagine now. A few weeks into Dec 2018 I started hanging out with someone I went to school with and briefly knew. His name was Dan. Dan and I ate acid one of the first nights him and I hung out and he informed me about all of the things about the Matrix and how it was created to keep us trapped and how all of the things that exist within it; tv, food, media, work did it. I already had a little background on 9/11 and flat earth and stuff so I already had a basis on which I was skeptical on quite a few things already but nothing like what was presented to me by Dan. This same night I found myself being attracted to Dan and what he was sharing with me despite me truly understanding any of it at the time. He looked at me with disgust and informed me that he could see in my energy I had a lot of things to go “deal with”... I did not understand what this meant for some time. I was very attracted to Dan from the jump meanwhile he repelled me and did not show any interest. This same night Dan advised me to stop eating any and all animal products, get rid of TV, social media, start trading Forex and learn how to work for myself... This night I stopped consuming any and all animal products, gave up alcohol that I had so heavily relied on- cold turkey, got rid of my TV, bought a desk and started investing in my self and books... Weeks go by from this night and I spent every day from this night pondering all the information I’d been given from Dan. I was doing a lot of research on the matrix and a lot of things started making sense. On December 31st 2018 I decided to eat mushrooms alone, again. I was still feeling very suicidal. Once again, feeling like there was absolutely nothing to lose. This experience was truly one of the most ineffable out of the ones I’ve had. It started great feeling good and it took a very unexpected turn... The walls started melting, I was soaked in sweat, I was crying so hard, my ego was in the midst of a death that saved my life... During the crying, sweating and walls melting a voice said to me “are you sure you’re ready to leave? have you really done all that you feel like you came here to do? because you can but the choice is yours” and from there I exclaimed out loud “No I am not ready to die. I have so much to do still” My soul seriously felt like it was going to leave my body right then and there if I said yes I was ready..... And from here..... My life completely changed. Dan and I started hanging out everyday. He tried teaching my how to trade forex and everything he could about breaking out of the Matrix. Our entire lives revolves around this for awhile.... I was vegan for 6+ months. I felt great for a while, I felt light and clear. I was breaking out so bad frequently which I felt like was either from kissing Dan who had acne which spread to me, or all of the vegan alternatives that were wrecking havoc on my system, the constant state of stress I was in.. It was probably a mix of things. I apprentice plumber and live in New England so by the time winter came around I was starting to feel fatigue and brain fog.. So I started eating meat again and felt back to my balanced, healthy self. During all the time I was vegan I became intolerant of almost all food it felt like... Couldn’t do any gluten or sugar and any time I did resulted in bloat and discomfort for hours on end... Because of Veganism I tried soooooooo many different variations of diets. I juice fasted for weeks, ate nothing but raw fruits and veggies for a while... Fasted a lot I’m general. I was farming for a while so while I was I felt amazing even without meat... And then like I said winter came and my body started taking a turn for the worst it seemed.. My bile was basically water every single time. It seemed like I had a reaction to every single thing I ate until I started eating meat again... And not every day either- it was a very intuitive thing and I ate it when I felt like I needed it. I do not support animal cruelty whatsoever which is why veganism was so appealing to me. I never ate meat because I wanted to hurt animals in the first place. I ate what I was raised by my entire life.. and looking back the way I ate never seemed to be the cause of issues in my life.. It always genuinely came down to lack of emotional support from my caregivers and those around me even myself, traumas that had happened to me.. etc etc. During my 6+ months of no animal products- I binged regularly, I had incessant cravings all day every day for any and everything it seemed like... I was extremely emotionally unstable... Meanwhile on the outside it was ALL “LOVE & LIGHT :D”.... Inside I was suffering so deeply and just didn’t feel balanced. I was supplementing with Cymbiotika and a bunch of other vegan replacements. The more I heal my wounds and become more of what feels like my true self the more I feel like I am able to listen to what my body and Self truly needs to feel healthy and that comes down to my body truly thriving better when I implement strictly local and grass fed beef.. I ritualize this process as much as I am able to. I still think about all of the vegan ideologies and animal suffering which is why I try to be as mindful as possible about all of my consumption. One part of me says “eating meat will interfere with spiritual channel within”, there is no justifying killing any and all animals, live for the animals meanwhile restricting Self of that which it knows it wants and needs to have healthy life... The other part says “what about the plants? Why aren’t they acknowledged for their sentient intelligence?”, why is all the focus just on animals and how they feel? Why don’t vegans or plant based individuals consider the suffering that may be caused by a plant being disconnected from its network (family) + roots? Why isn’t ripping a plant out of the ground to be consumed considered to be just as cruel as raising animals to be consumed? I don’t have all the answers... But vegan, plant based, carnivorous, omnivorous all share one thing in common which is considering the energy and place of that which you may be getting any of these things come from.. Plants and animals come from the Earth, therefore they are natural.. Especially when grown and raised with awareness and given their best lives possible... If we are all one and all interconnected why are plants and animals given such a distinct separation that one is more valuable than the other? Or one feels more than the other? There is no justifying animal cruelty but that also just goes back to the energy and place of that which you are getting your products to consume from... Getting ANY thing whether it’s plant based or not from any where that you don’t know where it comes from seems to be the real issue.. Being disconnected from our source... You can buy all the plant based sources from the grocer you want, but if it’s not local or grown to the best of abilities, given proper tlc, coming from any place that you don’t know- it’s exactly the equivalent of buying meat off the shelf at any grocer having the same disconnect from both sources... Life and death are inevitable. We are mortal beings here on Earth and for some reason I feel there is a lot of premonition that if you are Vegan you are more spiritual, will be healthier, live longer.. Why do I feel more balanced and grounded when I consume meat then? Why do I have more concentration when I consume meat? Why does my body seem to thrive when I consume meat? The answer comes down to individuality at the end of the day... & the quality of that which you use as a source of consumption for ANYthing.... not just meat. When you eat a plant, you interrupted it’s life for your survival. When you eat an animal, you also interrupted its life for your survival. For what? So we can live... & continue the eternal cycles of life and death... When we die, Mother Earth eats at our decay for food for herself... & it appears to be a never ending cycle... I’m doing what appears to be working for me. But I can’t seem to rid myself of the very low level of guilt I’ve programmed into myself from the times I’ve not consumed any animal products.. Just seeking some perspectives If anyone has any to share. I don’t think I am right and anyone else is wrong.. I just feel like there’s so much information along the lines of these things that it can cause confusion if one doesn’t know themselves or their bodies... So any discussion to distinguish some clarity amongst all of it is very much welcomed... I send you so much love, I truly do. I hope we are all eventually able to radically accept and integrate what it means to be healthy and human and do whatever it takes to be humane about doing that in whatever fashion best suits each individual...
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